


Slight Impossibility (Huge Probability)

by anon_nim



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-08 20:11:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10395126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_nim/pseuds/anon_nim
Summary: "Hyung, I think I love that idiot."Junmyeon raises his eyebrow. "Who?""You know, Park Chanyeol."





	

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [kpopolymfics2017](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017) collection. 



> This fic was written for K-Pop Olymfics 2017. Olymfics is a challenge in which participants write fics based on prompt sets and compete against other teams of writers, organized by genre. 
> 
> This is Team Canon’s fic for the following prompt set:  
>  **Monsta X – "All In"**  
> [lyrics](https://colorcodedlyrics.com/2016/05/monsta-x-all-in-georeo) | [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNxPGbk-gwA) | [supplementary](http://rjkoehler.tumblr.com/post/152856895413/a-cold-rain-falls-on-seoul-stations-bus-transfer) [prompts](http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/olymficsmod/37777224/2266/2266_original.jpg)
> 
> The other 2 fics for this prompt can be found in [the collection](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/kpopolymfics2017). Competition winners are chosen by the readers, so please rate this fic using [this survey](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe4B90wIIK79lW4kRswlse96MXtWLD_xbItvia6bc_69wiyVw/viewform?usp=sf_link)!
> 
> Special thanks to our adorable Captain Hedgehog for her patience, understanding and unconditional support. My lovely beta Lil Cookies, I love you thank you for all those virtual hugs and cuddles. Thanks to Cutie Pie LSP for her input, it makes my day and really hyped me up! And of course every single member of my amazing team, love you all~

“Let's go home together."

Startled, he drops his backpack and curses. "Chanyeol, you scared me!"

It has become a habit, them going home together after practice. Sometimes they visit the takoyaki place near the train station that the owner knows them by heart, now. Kyungsoo feels happy even if his future is still blurry and full of doubts.

"You know," Chanyeol says while adjusting his bag straps. "I heard they're gonna be debuting a boy group this year, a big one."

“Yeah? I’m hungry, let's talk about that later.”

Chanyeol snorts unattractively. “It’s your turn to pay!”

When they miraculously debut under the same group, Kyungsoo hugs Chanyeol tight.

 

It's different. Kyungsoo feels small under the spotlight. He has been working hard to debut and he can't afford to fail. But still, he cracks his high note on a music show and is stuttering through his speech. Too much camera he feels physically ill, he can't breathe.

"Hey, you're okay, Soo." Chanyeol states at him. "Listen to me, breathe."

Kyungsoo complies easily. _BreatheBreatheBreatheBreathe._

"Trust me, okay? We're gonna be fine."

 

Kyungsoo listen well to Chanyeol, now that he thinks about it. Even if he doesn't show it - he purposely doesn't answer when Chanyeol screams his name for the nth times - or when the crowd is wild and Baekhyun is wildly _loud_ ; Kyungsoo always found Chanyeol's voice.

 

"Kyungsoo! Let's wear matching rings!"

Kyungsoo smiles fondly, but doesn't bother to look up from his phone. "I don't like wearing jewelry."

"But this are matching rings!" Chanyeol whines from the end of the bed. "And I've already bought them, so you shouldn't reject my love."

He agrees, eventually. And the ring is too big that he has to wear it on his forefinger, Chanyeol barks. When he scratches it the next morning - still unused to the weight of it - Chanyeol grins and proudly brags about his own to other members.

"You're so silly," Sehun says over Jongin's shoulder.

"Oh, yeah?" Chanyeol taunts back. "Well, at least we can be silly together, right Soo?"

 

Kyungsoo thinks he's in love with the boy. That's wrong, but not a surprise considering he's Do Kyungsoo after all, of course this would happen to him. It started with casual talks, jokes thrown at each other and affectionate touches. And then they got too close, back hugs and hand holding ensues. When Kyungsoo kisses the boy's cheek on a variety show, he feels too giddy and realizes something must be wrong.

 

"Where's your ring?!"

Kyungsoo pretends to be deaf.

"Answer me, Kyungsoo-yah! Kyungsoo-yah! Kyungsoo! Do Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo-yah!"

 

He ignores the boy subtly so that no one will notice the difference, he never talks much anyway. And he can always tell them he's working hard on filming these days. At least that's what he thinks, because one radio show with a certain boy tells him otherwise.

"I really liked D.O but these days, he's so far away. We’ve drifted apart he's practically a stranger now."

Kyungsoo chokes on his drink when that deep voice mentions him. He has been listening to the radio since the beginning, having already memorized the boy’s schedules by heart. But the jealousy he felt when the boy picked Sehun over him was now already replaced with a sudden dread.

"A stranger, huh?" He musses to no one in particular.

"...you know how people are; if it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind.”

Kyungsoo sleeps earlier that night, he grits his teeth harder when he hears the door open quietly. In the dark of the bedroom it’s easier to drown in his sorrow. 

So when the boy asks him, “Soo? Are you still awake?”

He doesn't answers. 

 

"Hyung, do you like boys?"

Junmyeon hums. "Yeah, of course. Why?"

"I think I like boys." He blurts out with a choked voice.

Junmyeon seems taken aback, his eyes widen dramatically and mouth forms a little 'o'. Maybe he shouldn't barges to Junmyeon's room in the first place, the whole thing feels stupid now. But he doesn't know what to do and desperate times calls for desperate measures. Kyungsoo fidgets nervously, Junmyeon's room suddenly feels colder than before.

"You mean like, um.. romantically?"

"Yes." He stares at the wall. "Is that bad?"

"I guess, no? Why do you think it's bad?"

Because he's supposed to live with a female companion for the rest of his life, not male. And contrary to the popular belief, everyone in the group is as straight as a stick can be. Well, maybe not everyone because clearly Do Kyungsoo is gay. Shit, how could this happen? He's not girly or anything like those 'gay people' out there! This is really **bad** , he doesn't want to be gay. But -

"I think I'm gay. Hyung, what should I do?"

Junmyeon stares at him fondly before feigning thinking. "How do you know that you're gay?"

"I like someone."

"Hm.. Do I know this someone?"

"Yes."

"Is it Chanyeol?"

Kyungsoo stares.

"So it is, Chanyeol," Junmyeon says triumphantly.

"Hyung! I'm gay!" Kyungsoo might have whined pathetically at this point. "You have to help me!"

"Honestly, why would it be wrong to love a guy? It gives you the power to begin the world all over again." Junmyeon is surprisingly gentle about this whole ordeal.

"But - we're talking about me liking Chanyeol, who's obviously a guy!"

"Look, Soo. I think what matters is that you really like him, you know? Female or male, if you think you can't live without them or you feel like you could give them everything, you should go for it."

Kyungsoo bites his bottom lip. "Even if it's Chanyeol?"

"Especially if it's Chanyeol we're talking about."

 

He ponders about Junmyeon’s speech for nights. Restless and sleepless with too many thoughts swimming around in his head. Is it really that bad to love Chanyeol? It's not, but what should he do next? Should he confess? For what, rejection? Chanyeol might finds him disgusting and sick if he ever confess. 

But tonight, he watches Chanyeol's face, lightened by the computer screen that makes him look slightly unreal - the headphone is long forgotten, dangling at the edge of the desk. Tonight in the confines of their bedroom Kyungsoo thinks Chanyeol deserves to know. Chanyeol deserves all the love in the world and more, so he decides.

"Chanyeol, listen to me." Kyungsoo waits until Chanyeol nods and looks away from his computer. "I'm not good at expressing myself, so I will only say this once."

Well, that's not completely true because if Chanyeol tells him to, he would predictably say it over and over again. But what Chanyeol doesn't know, wouldn't hurt him. Kyungsoo has to fight a smile when Chanyeol quickly sits straighter and makes a serious face.

"I'm listening. What is it, Soo?"

Right now it’s confession time, Kyungsoo takes one deep breath. "I like you," he blurts out. "Romantically speaking and all."

Chanyeol looks unsure before he answers with, "You mean _like_ like?" When Kyungsoo nods, Chanyeol's eyes widen. "Are you- this is a joke, right?"

"No. This is serious, Chanyeol, I'm not playing around."

"But.. what about our job? What would people say? We're supposed to like girls?"

"Chanyeol, I'm gay. And I like you, I don't care about all the girls out there or what people say, I only want you."

Chanyeol stares at him with a blank expression and Kyungsoo thinks, that's it. That's the answer he was looking for. He tries to pat Chanyeol's hand from his bed, reassuring the older man. Besides, what were the chances that Chanyeol might be gay, too? It's almost impossible, to be honest.

"It's okay, Yeol-ah. I'm saying this not to force you or anything, you can forget it." Kyungsoo sighs. “I just thought - nevermind. You deserves to know.”

“Kyungsoo I - it’s not -” Chanyeol gulps nervously before he nods and lets out a little, “Thank you.”

Kyungsoo smiles - he's an actor after all and when Chanyeol quietly stares back at the computer screen, he retreats underneath his blanket and curls pathetically. Jongin comes home that night with tension filling the room but pays it no mind and quickly snores. Kyungsoo stays awake until much later when he can hear someone sneaking outside their shared bedroom.

Kyungsoo sobs.

 

"Hyung, I think I love that idiot."

Junmyeon raises his eyebrows but his eyes never leave the television. "Who?"

"You know, Park Chanyeol."

"And Chanyeol loves you back, I assume?" He asks.

"How do you know?"

"Well, you've been acting unusual lately."

"I was?"

Junmyeon shrugs like it's not a big deal but Kyungsoo gets his attention now. "You two have been too touchy these days. Holding hands in airports, whispering and oh! And you played with his neck in that interview that I think we all threw up for a bit."

Kyungsoo feels his cheeks reddening. "You all know?"

"Of course, you think you're subtle, huh? Anyway, you guys are a thing now?"

"Yes."

"It will be pure chaos if everyone knows," Junmyeon musses. "But you seem happier these days, you smile a lot when we're performing. And you’re joking around, too."

"I am?"

"What would you do if people found out? Even with the whole Chanbaek and Kaisoo thing I don't think they'll be all too positive about it. I can never understand them, some of the fans are so scary, you know?"

Kyungsoo knows Junmyeon is just rambling to himself at this point, but he answers nonetheless, "I'll protect him."

At that, Junmyeon laughs. "You? You're so small I think it will be the other way around - Oh! Kyungsoo I thought about this for days but there's still a small possibility that you're not gay!"

"What do you mean 'I'm not gay'?"

"You might be pansexsual," Junmyeon says with serious face. "Or just Chanyeol-sexual!"

He punches Junmyeon's arm with all his might.

 

Chanyeol always wears his heart on his sleeve. Once, he cried for a week when his ferret, Ddori went missing. Yoora always laughed at him for that matter. He learns now that, 'it's okay to cry, I guess. But I have to be secretive about it.' So Kyungsoo accompanies him through the waterworks, rubbing a soothing pattern on his waist. 

Chanyeol too laughs for minutes when he finds something amusing. Hands clapping ecstatically and foot furiously stomping the ground. Kyungsoo loves how sometimes he grins a little too wide and it makes his mouth twitch awkwardly. Chanyeol finds happiness just from the silly little things and cry harder for the sillier reasons. 

And then there's him. There's Do Kyungsoo who's magically stuck to Chanyeol’s side since the first day he joins the company. Who is reserved, small and has cute owl eyes - Chanyeol said this, obviously. Kyungsoo who is always amazed by how bright Chanyeol’s personality is and wonders how lucky he is to have found someone so precious like Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo who thought maybe if it's for Chanyeol, he wouldn't mind giving him all he's got. So he wears his heart on his sleeve for Chanyeol, showering him with attentions and affections whenever he can. He doesn't pays any mind about people who might see behind the fan service excuse and wonders when does he become so rash.

But seeing the wide happy grin he gets in return, it's more than worth it. 

"You're perfect."

Chanyeol raises his eyebrows dubiously. "Is this your way to say 'I love you'?"

"Maybe," He hums, shifts closer to Chanyeol's embrace. "What if I do?"

"You do?"

Kyungsoo smiles when Chanyeol hugs him tighter. They’ve just finished performing earlier, still dizzy with adrenaline. Kyungsoo sneaks to Chanyeol and Sehun's shared room before ushering Sehun to play somewhere else. And then he enters the bathroom when Chanyeol is in the middle of showering and makes Chanyeol to cuddles with him in the bathtub instead. Chanyeol keeps it innocent enough, hands carefully resting on his waist and never straying lower.

"Hey I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Kyungsoo says. “There’s this constant feeling, as if I’m alone on a rainy night, city lights blinding as I wait for a train home and I keep wondering. Is it a train I am waiting for or someone to stand next to me and wait along?"

Kyungsoo listens to Chanyeol’s hum.

"I think all this time, since the beginning, it’s always been you.”

“But I’ve been here all along Soo,” Chanyeol replies and buries his head against Kyungsoo’s neck. “And you're perfect too. You're more than perfect.”

Kyungsoo kisses Chanyeol’s forehead and smiles. “I do," He whispers. And when Chanyeol raises his eyebrow in mischief, he flicks the water to Chanyeol’s face a little. “I love you.”

Clearly elated, Chanyeol kisses him with a grin and _maybe_ things get a little too heated to be included in this sweet innocent story.

 

("Hey, Soo."

Kyungsoo hums, not bothering to look up. "What is it, Yeol?"

"I've been thinking. You know, about that night."

"I said just forget it. You're straight, I understand." 

He might appear freakishly rude and pissed but honestly, Chanyeol shouldn't complain. He just wants to cook in peace and maybe forget about the little confession thing if he could. But Chanyeol seems determined, eyes never leaving him since that night and Kyungsoo has had enough. He puts the soup spoon with a loud sound and turns his heels to leave the kitchen when Chanyeol catches his wrist. 

"No, wait. Wait, please," Chanyeol whines and forces Kyungsoo to look into his eyes. "I like girls, but I like you, too. You know, romantically speaking and all."

The earth might have stopped rotating for a second because Kyungsoo suddenly couldn’t muster anything beside, "What."

"I love you.")

**Author's Note:**

> I'm terribly sorry the fic is so short and kinda rushed in a way - it's because this is my pinch hit so I write this while practically rushing over the deadline.
> 
> Thanks for you, readers! I hope you enjoy the story and don't forget to fill [the survey~!!!](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe4B90wIIK79lW4kRswlse96MXtWLD_xbItvia6bc_69wiyVw/viewform?usp=sf_link)


End file.
